finally, an outline

okay well this is SUPPOSED to end up being the outline for the book i want to write before i die. who knows when that will be, so i'm going to try and finish it as soon as possible. so... maybe a year? yeah, give me a year. i should hopefully have it done by december. but anyway i'm getting sidetracked. the reason i haven't started yet is because i have too many ideas and i don't know how to organize them into coherent passages that can be read alone or in sequence to improve upon the weight of their meaning. hence, an outline is needed. but all the fart sounds in the world couldn't make my head any clearer right now... sorry that's kind of an inside joke. i'm not going to explain it. anyway... i really don't know where to start, even with my outline. so what i'm going to do is i'm going to get up and pee, and then i'm going to just write nonesense until something coherent glints at me from inside all the shit on the page.
ok i'm back.
i'm also kind of dreading the thoughts of all the cleaning i need to do tomorrow... but cleaning is part of the universal balance, so i am obligated to carry it out to the best of my ability.
i'm just going to start writing words that are related to all the subjects/points i want to cover and maybe it'll push me off the diving board into the pool and i can start swimming in them.
humanity, god, universe, science, systems, society, humans, living, dying, balance, science, logic, reason, understanding.... everything. hmmm. oh, i should mention. i'm writing this entirely for my own benefit, so if you don't follow my thoughts here don't worry. i just think this looks classier than an open text document. basically, i believe every problem you encounter has a root, a source, sometimes it's hidden, but there's always one underlying principle or instance or circumstance or event or SOMETHING that caused the problem to begin with. find the source, deal with it, watch the problem disappear. that's what i want to accomplish with my book. our world today is full of problems. all of the problems were made by people. and all the problems made by people were made mostly because they didn't understand what they were doing. we are really a very stupid species... it's our smartness that makes us stupid. we spend so much time trying to be clever that we completely shut out our instincts and ignore the natural order of things, and that is when we cause problems. i want to point out the root causes of the biggest problems of today, and maybe a few people will understand what i'm getting at and live there lives a little differently. who knows. but the big topics are the ones i need to outline. i'm just not sure what order i should put them in.... i need the book to progress, i need each idea to build onto the next one, so that at the end you are buried under a tower of enlightenment. but how.... i think it should be something like Humanity -> Religion -> Science -> Society.... no that doesn't work.... I need to lead with Humanity, because being human is what it's going to be all about and it will carry through each section. sooo... humanity, society, religion, science... or science, religion... or i could just wrap both those into one section really. hmmm. a 3 parter? humans by themselves, humans as a species, humans as sentient beings in the universe. take a snapshot and then zoom out... zoom out again... zoom out again. hmmmm. okay. good start.

what do you when you're fed up with the status quo? when you realize that there are certain things in the universe that you want to be different that never will be? how do you handle it when you realize you will never EVER be satisfied with your life, because of facts of nature that exist outside of your influence? the only reason i haven't killed myself yet is because i feel like i have so much to give to this world, but now i really don't feel like giving it. since when did the world deserve anything i could offer it? where is my reward? oh, i'll be rewarded in death? then why keep them waiting. let's go.