Moonlight Memories

so for those of you who follow our progress on facebook and twitter, you probably already heard that i am once again on a Persona 3 FES kick. it comes as a surprise even to me that i would pick this game up again, not because of anything to do with the game itself, but because of the associations it has within my recent history. in fact, most of my video game collection is now tainted by bittersweet memories of the past, which is why i haven't hardly touched any in about a year. only recently after my move did i start gaming again.

as far as Persona 3 is concerned, the game itself is phenomenal but i won't waste your time by praising it... just watch a video review on IGN or something. i guess it actually goes to show what a wonderful game it is that i choose to play it again because the person who introduced me to it is the one person in this world i can honestly say that i "hate." it's not a feeling i normally would entertain... hate itself, even anger, are concepts that i'm not very familiar with. being a pacifist, i don't really find the capacity for violently negative emotions like those within myself. but, as in everything, there are exceptions. also, the time i spent playing this game the first time through i put over 150 hours into it and each one was spent in the close company of my ex-wife. both of us being enthusiasts of anime and japanese video games, this title was of great interest to us... so much so that i was FORBIDDEN to play for even a moment without her presence. i can only smile at that... even if it is a bitter smile. she loved the stories, soundtracks, and cinematics of these styles of games, but couldn't abide by the turn-based combat of the games themselves. so, as a compromise, she would watch me play through the battles and soak up the rich storyline with me as i quested through. even now as i play i can hear her sarcastic remarks directed at some of the more obnoxious characters or her girlish laugh at the antics unfolding in more humorous parts of the narrative. i remember her opinions on the situations that the main character encounters... it's as if she's still sitting here watching me play but i'm the only one who can hear her but i can't see her...

so not only am i tripping on the nostalgia of the game itself, but i'm constantly being reminded of all the long cold hours she and i spent huddled together in our trashy one bedroom apartment in cleveland... watching the events in the game unfold...

it wouldn't be so hard if i could even text her and just tell her i'm playing it again and we could reminisce together... in fact i think she'd probably be upset with me that i'm playing through again without her... i can already predict the responses i would receive back on my phone... but sadly that can't happen. time takes it's toll on us, we change and so do the people around us, circumstances in life that are completely out of our control tear us each away from one another and shove us in opposite directions, and we all face unique struggles that others may not completely understand. all these factors and countless more are what cause life-long relationships to crumble. i used to think our friendship was invincible... that we had no breaking point when it came to eachother... but no one is immune to life. least of all those who pretend to be.

i don't really know where i'm going with this... or if i have a concluding point. there's not really a moral to this story other than cherish what friendships you have now, because tomorrow they may be gone.
for those of you following my progress as part of Abyssal, or just following my blog in general, i will be posting a video update soon, possibly later tonight, about why i create the kind of music i do and why i believe so strongly in it. check it out, if you get a minute. you might learn something about me :)